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I decided to exorcise some personal demons today (Sunday) so I took the Amtrak up to New York City. The terrorist attack left me feeling both powerless and detached and I wanted to connect with the city, to see what it was like, and to see how people were handling it.
The odd thing is that even though the Pentagon is in the Washington DC area and though it's a government building that we can see from our office, I just couldn't relate to the attack there. I'm not sure why. Maybe because my circles don't interact much with Pentagon circles or something. Or maybe it was because no matter how horrible the attack on the Pentagon was, it paled next to what was done to New York City. I had to go to New York.
So I was on the 5:11am train for New Carrollton Maryland this morning. I had done this schedule on a previous trip to city back in July. I had a list of place I wanted to see (in typical Bruce fashion). To avoid lines, I went first to the Statue of Liberty (walking from Penn Station to Castle Clinton which is about 2-1/2 miles as the crow flies--I don't recommend doing that) but ended up spending hours in the hot sun waiting to get in there. Afterward, I visited the Smithsonian Indian museum in New York, hit a Burger King, visited Trinity Church, walked halfway across the Brooklyn Bridge, took pictures of the Wall Street bull, city hall (closed to tourists for years), Federal Hall (which is closed on weekends anyway--rather unusual for a National Park), etc. One of the few places I didn't hit on my list was the World Trade Center. I had taken pictures of it with the New York skyline from Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty but I had wanted to go up and see the view from there. But I was suffering from heatstroke and dehydration and I figured I could always go back later. Right.
Anyway, I was back in the city just after 8am. I headed south on foot just like before. Like before, the New York odor hits you early and stays with you. But immediately, you start seeing changes. Start with the Amtrak arrival-departure schedule board which now has "God bless America" on the bottom line.
Of course there are American flags all over the place. You see them before you get out of the train car. Most stores, run by people of all nationalities, have at least one in their windows. The flags are of all kinds--cloth, newspaper tear-outs, hand-drawn--attached in all different ways. Most are inside windows, others hanging from balconies, others on car antennas, some duct taped to deserted buildings. Some have words ("United we stand", "God bless America", [typical New York] "One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all. You got a problem with that?", "Thank you America's Heroes"). It's an amazing sight.
Before I left the station, I ran into the first "missing" sign. These are pictures of people who are missing now. The text was agonizingly similar--such and such was last seen walking to work at the World Trade Center on September 11, they work on the 102nd floor, if anyone remembers seeing them... The pictures represented a melting pot of America--whites, blacks, Hispanics, orientals, Arabs, men, women... I even saw them for pets who were in the area. Realistically, there's not much chance that anyone will be found. These are people just hoping for some last touch with their loved ones through someone who remembers seeing them that day.
As I continued to walk south, I felt the city was quieter than I'd experienced before. It was still in-your-face New York but it was something else too. It wasn't anger (although there were shirts with "Bin Laden; wanted for mass murder; $25 million reward"). It was "We're in this together".
Building after building had been turned into American Red Cross centers. Blood drives, volunteers, whatever.
After awhile, I ran into the police barricades. On weekends now, cars are blocked from coming anywhere near the site. (I was told the cordon is smaller during the work week as the city tries to get back on its feet.) Police inspect any vehicle--typically ConEd or sanitation or support vehicles although there are also apartment complexes within the cordon--that go in. Pedestrians can walk several blocks more.
Then I ran into a barricade that left me two blocks away from still-smoldering rubble. Someone identified this as having been 7 World Trade Center. I had trouble imagining it being a tower at all.
As I worked my way from barricade to barricade, I waded through a steadily increasing number of fellow gawkers. Manning the barricades were policemen but as you got closer they were backed up by National Guard. I didn't think they were actually necessary; no one was confronting anyone or trying to argue their way past. People were unusually courteous.
By this point, I'd noticed that my camera no longer worked. The batteries which had worked fine throughout my New England trip, a James Smithson lunch, and some other things, suddenly stopped working. Normally there's a warning before that happens. I put in the spare batteries I had (different brand) and found they didn't work either. Maybe it was the brand. I walked to a drug store and bought some more. These sort of worked but not reliably and the auto-focus was toast. Then you think about the dust that's getting in everything here. The dust that's on every sign, every window, every roof, every windowsill, every lung, every electrical connection.
I worked my way down the barricades on Broadway. My Burger King was shut--windows blasted, quiet behind the normal bars. There was a clothing store, windows broken, where you could see rack after rack of neatly folded shirts and pants on shelves, all covered by a heavy layer of silt and ash. You'd look in other closed shops and there'd be firemen trying to catch some rest before going back to the hell that's their job. And the smell of New York was replaced by the smell of dust. It got in everything. All the police were wearing dust masks as were some of the tourists.
Trinity Church had been turned into a central station for the relief workers. You could see food and drink but not many were taking the time to consume either. You could see medical bags of plasm or something. You could see the hand-written "thank you" signs taped on the vehicles. And behind the church, you could see a soot-covered structure that they were still pumping water on. The bottom floor had been a book store (Barnes and Noble I think). The buildings around it had various windows broken.
Another block and you see that image you've seen so many times in the press. The remnants of the outside walls of the twin towers that stick up like a large cloth mesh. At the very tip of the remnants, you could see an American flag. You know they're working inside. Digging. Endlessly digging.
The crowds kept growing. It was 11am by now. I decided to walk east, away from the remains. I found another Burger King. The person who served me worked in the one that used to be. Where was she during the attack? About to leave for work...
As I worked my way back to Penn Station, the number of "missing" signs increased dramatically. Whole walls were plastered with them. And you'd run into the parks with their collections of candles and teddy bears and more pictures and more flags.
Stores were selling Twin Towers shirts (I was told they showed up within a day or two of the attack) throughout the area. But then you noticed the sidewalk vendors setting up their stands. Besides the typical bootleg audio CD vendors, there were lots and lots of vendors selling flags, photos (pre- and post-), shirts, scarves, anything to make a buck from this. Any New York post card that had the Twin Towers on it was selling for 30 to 50 cents apiece (Statue of Liberty ones were 15 for a dollar). People bought them.
I wanted to support the fire department some how. I decided to go to the New York City Fire Museum and buy some fire department hats. I'd seen the hats on the "Tribute to Heroes" telethon. I thought they'd help. So did everyone else. They were sold out. I bought some shirts, grabbing their last XL. I ended up buying a lot of hats from a store near Penn Station.
I was tired but thought I'd go up the Empire State Building this time. I didn't feel comfortable thinking "I can do it next time". But there was a police cordon around the entrance and the viewing towers was closed to tourists. It had apparently been closed for awhile. Maybe they were afraid of another terrorist attack. I dunno.
Last year on my cross-country whirlwind drive, I went to Oklahoma City. I saw their memorial to the federal building that had been destroyed there. It was very beautiful. I asked a cop what New York would do. He said they'd build another collection of towers; the land was too valuable to not rebuild commercial real estate. I'm sure there will be a memorial though. This has touched so many lives that it would be unthinkable not to have one.
But will New York City itself rebuild? Despite everything, you have to say "Yes." New York is one of the most resilient places I've been. It's always been a city of survivors, a city with a diverse population that some how takes its hits in stride and comes back stronger than ever. It's really an amazing place.
I needed to know that.
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